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Goo Former US Vice President Al Gore in his film "An Inconvenient Truth" tells the Cannes Film Festival that the extra hour of sunlight brought about by Day Light Saving time has resulted in Global Warming. This is highly valuable knowledge certified by a team of renowned climate change scientist and educators. . Bush and Cheney will be forced to change their position on this crisis," he said. The film "An Inconvenient Truth" won an Oscar and was supported by Cuba. I like this because it's Slick JFS The above is facetious but typical Al Gore. Al was sleeping under an Oak tree one day after a hard day spent inventing the Internet and an Acorn fell on his head. This was immediately an Omen to brother Al. The sky was fallen. But no, hadn't Chicken Lichen already exploited that theory. There must be some thing deeper here reflected Al. He remember Mr. Newton and the apple hitting him on the head and addled him so that he came up with the treatise Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica, (Law of gravity) Al couldn't go there, he couldn't produce the words, he had to come up with something simpler. He had dropped off to sleep early in the morning and the acorn had awoken him around noon. Then it struck Al like a bolt of lightning. It was cool when he went to sleep and now hot. The planet was warming. A cause was born, proof was needed. And where do you go for proof but to a glacier. His quest for proof led him to Glacier Bay where he found his melting Glacier. Now this Glacier was found in 1794 by George Vancouver. At the time it was more than 4,000 feet thick and 20 miles wide. In 1879 John Muir took another look and found that the Glacier had shrunk more than 30 miles. And by 1916 the Grand Pacif Glacier had melted back 60 miles. Here was Al's proof. The climate was warming. (And had been for the 210 years since discovered by George Vancouver. Now I don't know how much you know about glaciers. They are made of ice, they move down hill and melt when they strike an air or water temperature of 33 degrees or higher. It is their inherent nature to melt. Al didn't deduct anything new. What happens to the ice when it turns to water. It turns to rain or snow and goes back to the top of the glacier and starts down again. If more goes up than is melted then the sea gets smaller. If Global warming is in effect less goes up and the seas get bigger. Now I don't know how much you know about water. It seeks it level. (Meaning it don't pile up) So if All is right, the distance from the Golden Gate bridge to the Ocean level is diminishing. Or on the other side of the world at the Grand Canal in Venice the man paddling the Gondolas would now have to stoop to go under the bridges. If during 211 years of observing the melting of the Glacier at Glacier the ocean was about the same distance from the bridges in San Francisco and Venice were was the melted water going to. Let us consider another known observation the planes of the Lost Squadron. These planes were forced to crash land on the Greenland ice cap during WWII. After many attempts to recover the planes, fifty years later in 1992, one of the P-38s, nicknamed Glacier Girl, was recovered from under 268 feet of ice During these 50 years snow and ice had covered these planes to a depth of 268 feet. Hardly evidence that the planet was warming at much of a rate. It seems to Mr. Al that man made gases has formed a reflective shield and that sun rays hit the earth release some of its energy and reflected back to the reflective shield caused by cow poots and carbon emissions (known as green house gasses and then hit the earth a second time causing global warming. I asked Coo Coo Harry to explain to me how the sun rays got though the shield made by man made gases in the first place. Why weren't they reflect at the first point which would result in Global cooling if they couldn't get through.. Coo Coo gave me a look of contempt. What you don't understand and Al does know for a certanity is that the gas shield is made like a fish trap. You know fish can go in but can't get out. This explains the phenomena of how the gas shield is able to collect the cow poots and exhaust emissions and use them the second time to reflect back the heat on the first bounce and warm the planet. Well, Coo Coo, if you and Al are so smart how do you explain why the Glacier Bar Glacier melted during the first 85 years from 1794 to 1879 when there no green house emissions no Al Gore only cow poots.( My spell checker suggest that poot is offensive and that I substitute flatulence. I have no problem with that but the audience that I write for is more familiar with the former than they are the latter. Any way Shakespeare said in this vein " a poot by any other name has the same bad smell.) I asked Coo Coo how well did he know Al. We go back a long way, he said.. In fact we are soul mates. While he was inventing the Internet, I was inventing the alphabet. gle
